My Wife Runs The Show... I Just Provide The Comic Relief

My Wife Says I Act Like I'm Right All The Time... She's Right

My Wife Says I Need To Grow Up... I Say She Needs To Lighten Up... She Won

My Wife Says I Never Listen... Or Something Like That

My Wife Says I'm A Catch... I Think She Meant 'Catch And Release'

My Wife Says I'm One In A Million... She Also Says She Wants A Refund

My Wife Thinks I'm Lazy... I'm Just Energy Efficient

My Wife Thinks I'm Perfect... Wait, Let Me Check My Hearing

My Wife Tolerates Me More Than Most People

My Wife Wears The Pants... I Wear This Tank

My Wife's Biggest Fear: Me Left Alone In Target With A Cart

My Wife's Favorite Exercise Is Jumping To Conclusions

My Wife's Other Husband Is Brad Pitt... In Her Dreams

My Wife: My Favorite Pain In The Neck

Of Course I'm Right, I Married Her

Plot Twist: I'm The One Who Married Up

Powered By Love And Supervised By My Wife

Professional Husband: Specializing In Nodding And Agreement

Property Of My Wife: Return If Lost

Relationship Status: Married And Manageable

Retirement Plan: Do Whatever My Wife Says

Sarcasm: Just One Of The Services I Offer My Wife For Free

Single? No. Taken? No. Married? Yep. Free? Not Even Close.